Coming out a transgender is rarely a single moment—it’s a process. For me, it’s been a series of conversations, messages, letters, and quiet decisions that are slowly reshaping my life.
Hi, my name is Reid. I’m a transgender guy, and this is where I’m at right now. Watch the corresponding youtube video here!
Choosing How—and Who—to Tell
So far, I’ve come out to my close circle of friends. There are still people I haven’t told yet, especially at work. My plan is to talk to my boss first and make sure I have her support before telling everyone else. Once that happens, I’ll likely send a message through our work system so everyone hears it at the same time. I already told my closest friends in person, and they’ve all been supportive, which has helped a lot.
Not every conversation could happen face-to-face. Some friends live far away, so I came out to them through text. I didn’t love doing it that way—it felt less personal—but sometimes you work with the options you have.
I also wrote letters to people as a backup, just in case I couldn’t get the words out. I ended up using most of those letters, especially with my closest friends. I wasn’t so much worried about rejection as I was about whether they’d actually use my name and pronouns. So far, they’ve been great.
Fear, Acceptance, and Pleasant Surprises
I told my queer friends first. While none of them are trans, they’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I knew they’d understand. That part felt relatively safe.
What surprised me most was how well my straight friends responded. I worried that while they were accepting of different sexualities, gender might feel like “too much” for them. That fear didn’t turn out to be true.
One friend in particular, Jeremy, really surprised me. I was worried he’d struggle with my name and pronouns, but he started correcting himself almost immediately—literally the day after I told him. That meant more to me than I can easily explain.
Some people I told later simply because timing was hard. One friend had changed jobs and wasn’t around much anymore, so I had to tell her over text. She was 100% supportive, which reinforced something I keep learning: people can show up for you even when you’re nervous to give them the chance.
When I came out, I told everyone the same thing:
I’m a trans guy. I go by Reid, and I use he/him pronouns. I’m sharing this now because I’m starting the process of transitioning.
Starting Therapy and Taking the First Medical Steps
One of the biggest milestones recently is that I’m scheduled to start gender therapy in January. I’m really excited about it. Even something as small as seeing my name—Reid—in the therapist’s email meant a lot to me.
I tend to overthink things, so I’m hoping therapy will help me work through some of the worries and unknowns. I also need a letter for top surgery, which is one of the main reasons I’m starting therapy in the first place. Even if I get that letter quickly, I plan to keep going. Having a nonjudgmental, unbiased person to talk to feels important.
Looking Ahead: Surgery, Hormones, and Patience
Ideally, within the next six months to a year, I’ll be able to start testosterone. The clinic I want to go to operates on informed consent, but their program is currently full, and they’re not even adding people to the waiting list until spring. That means I might be waiting close to a year—and while that’s frustrating, it’s still the place I want to go, so I’m willing to wait.
My hope is to have top surgery first, then start testosterone shortly after, so the physical changes and healing can happen around the same time. I’m also considering a hysterectomy, though that’s something I’m less certain about and still processing.
What I do know is this: I’ve never wanted to carry a child, and I’ve never felt comfortable with certain parts of my body. Those feelings aren’t new—they’re just becoming harder to ignore now that I’m allowing myself to move forward.
Where I Am Right Now
This is the beginning. I’m in the middle of coming out, in the early stages of transitioning, and in a place where a lot depends on timing, access, and other people. It’s uncertain, but it also feels right.
For the first time in a long time, I’m moving toward myself instead of away from who I am.
And that feels pretty huge.
