I’m a trans man who gave birth to two sons. That sentence often stops people in their tracks. Some feel curious. Others feel confused. For a long time, I never thought I would get pregnant. In fact, from a young age, I knew I didn’t want that experience. FTM Pregnancy felt disconnected from how I understood my body and my identity. Because of that, I pushed it far outside the life I imagined for myself. Like many trans men, I built my future around not carrying a child.
Many trans men never want to carry—and never will. That choice is valid. More importantly, it matters.
So naturally, the question becomes: why did I?
Choosing Something I Once Rejected
At first, my choice didn’t come from comfort. Instead, it came from clarity. I didn’t suddenly feel at ease with my ftm pregnancy, nor did my gender identity shift. Rather, my priorities did.
Over time, I realized that having my own biological children mattered to me. Once I understood that, I asked myself a harder question: What am I willing to go through to make that possible?
Eventually, the answer surprised me.
Although I never wanted pregnancy for its own sake, I decided that the experience would be worth the pain, discomfort, and emotional weight. Still, that realization didn’t arrive neatly. On the contrary, it brought fear, grief, and doubt. I had to sit with the uncomfortable truth that two things could exist at once: I could be a man who never wanted pregnancy and a man who chose it anyway.
Living Through a Trans FTM Pregnancy
Once I became pregnant, reality set in quickly.
Some days felt heavy. Public spaces demanded more energy. My body felt unfamiliar in ways I hadn’t prepared for. At times, being seen—or misunderstood—made me feel exposed and unsafe.
At the same time, unexpected moments of happiness surfaced.
On certain days, I felt connected to my body instead of disconnected from it. On others, joy quietly outweighed discomfort. Gradually, I began to feel proud—not because pregnancy defines strength, but because I showed up for something difficult on my own terms.
Unfortunately, people often flatten trans pregnancy into extremes. They frame it as either traumatic or inspirational. In truth, my experience lived somewhere in between. It felt complicated. It felt human. And most of all, it felt real.
Reclaiming the Meaning of Pregnancy
As time passed, I stopped viewing pregnancy as something that happened to me. Instead, I recognized it as something I actively chose.
That shift changed everything.
Because of it, I no longer saw my ftm pregnancy as a contradiction to my identity. I didn’t betray my masculinity. I didn’t lose myself. Instead, I made a decision about my body and my future—just like anyone else.
Pregnancy didn’t define my gender.
It didn’t erase my transition.
And it didn’t make me less of a man.
I was simply a man becoming a parent.
Making Room for Every Choice
Just as importantly, pregnancy is not right for every trans man—and it never has to be.
There is no single way to live as a trans man. Some of us want children. Others don’t. Some adopt, or use surrogates. Some carry. Others never would. None of these paths hold more legitimacy than another.
Still, trans people often feel pressure to explain their choices. We’re expected to justify our bodies, our families, and our decisions. However, no one owes an explanation for what they do—or don’t—do with their body.
My story doesn’t exist to promote pregnancy as a trans experience. Instead, it exists to protect choice. Choice is the point. Autonomy is the point.
What I Want You to Take From This
If you’re a trans man who never wants to be pregnant, your identity remains whole.
If you’re conflicted about parenthood, your uncertainty makes sense.
And if you carried—or are considering carrying—despite never imagining you would, your masculinity is not up for debate.
Pregnancy didn’t make me any less of a trans man.
It didn’t take anything away from me.
Instead, it added a chapter I now carry with pride.
Ultimately, trans men deserve complexity.
We deserve autonomy.
And above all, we deserve the freedom to define manhood for ourselves.
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