Before I ever got pregnant, I had top surgery. Double incision with free nipple grafts. A major step in feeling at home in my body. I was told that breastfeeding wouldn’t be possible after that type of surgery. My nipples were removed and reattached. Most of the breast tissue was taken out. From a medical standpoint, milk production after top surgery wasn’t supposed to be part of my story.
So when my chest started producing milk after I gave birth, I was caught completely off guard.
“That’s Not Supposed to Happen”
I knew, intellectually, that breastfeeding wasn’t an option for me. I accepted that long before pregnancy. What I didn’t expect was my body trying to do something it technically wasn’t supposed to do.
And to be honest — I didn’t want it.
It was uncomfortable. It was painful. And emotionally, it stirred up dysphoria I thought I had already worked through with surgery. It felt unfair to deal with something so closely tied to a part of my body I had intentionally changed to survive.
Why Did It Happen?
The question that kept looping in my mind was simple: why?
The answer turned out to be more nuanced than I realized. During top surgery, surgeons remove most of the breast tissue — but not all of it. The goal isn’t to remove every single cell. The goal is to create a typically masculine-looking chest.
That small amount of remaining tissue can still respond to pregnancy hormones. And in my case, it did.
Knowing the reason didn’t magically make it easier, but it helped me understand that my body wasn’t betraying me — it was responding exactly as it was biologically wired to do.
Dysphoria, Pain, and Priorities
I won’t sugarcoat it: this experience was hard. It brought up dysphoria and physical discomfort during a time when my body was already healing from pregnancy and birth.
But something else mattered more in that moment.
My baby.
My focus shifted away from my chest and onto this tiny human who needed me. The pain and dysphoria were real — but they weren’t the center of my world. Survival, recovery, and bonding were.
You’re Not Alone in This
If you’re a trans man who’s had top surgery and is pregnant — or considering pregnancy — know this: experiences like mine are possible, even if no one warned you.
I made it through this process. And if you’re facing something similar, you can too.
It’s not easy. But it is possible.
Did this surprise you too? Leave a comment or pass this post along to someone who might need to read it.
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